By Walt Alexander
Now, I recently finished writing many posts on courtship. But I realize that teaching doesn’t always end problems. In fact, it often creates more problems – more questions to ask, more things to think through, more stuff to do.
If we say goodbye to dating, what do we say hello to right now? How do guys and girls relate?
Here are just a few things we say hello to:
1. Say hello to the Lord.
The primary reason –as stated in earlier posts– I love courtship (or biblical dating) because I long to see single people more in love with God than with the carousel of continuous dating. Singleness can be a unique season of life where we can secure “undivided devotion to the Lord” (1 Cor 7:35). This season was a gift in my own life, as it served me to cultivate this undivided devotion, this contentment in God.
So, do hard things in your relationship with the Lord while you are single. Set goals for your spiritual disciplines. Consume Christian books. Go on reading retreats. Say hello to the Lord.
2. Say hello to more friends.
Oftentimes, the dating carousel –with its tendency to isolation and inclusion– is filled with partiality and slim relationships. Partiality is elevating one person over another in your own mind, attitude and actions because of superficial qualities, like personality, dress, physique, intellectual rigor, and other characteristics. It is sin against God and is infinitely dangerous. However, it often permeates our relationships.
So, as you say goodbye to dating, expend your energies getting to know more friends. Repent of partiality and cultivate relationships! This season in your life is a unique (and excellent) one to invest in relationships.
3. Say hello to serving.
As you say goodbye to dating, you will notice that your planner is immediately loosened. So, I would encourage you to follow Christ’s example (Mk 10:45) and utilize this unique season to serve in your church, in your care group, in your house/apartment. “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain” (1 Cor 15:58). Your labor – your serving – is not in vain. The risen Savior sees it and is glorified through it.
But, this takes work – believe it or not. A servant heart is difficult to maintain. You will have to consistently direct your heart to what is supremely valuable – treasuring and glorifying Jesus Christ. You will also have to continually manage your schedule to look for pockets of time you can redeem.
Also, serve everyone. Serving is a God-given opportunity to put partiality to death. Run from partiality and serve everyone. Don’t just ask the girl you know (and like) to dance. Ask the girl you don’t know and don’t (yet) like to dance!
What do you guys think? What would you add?
