Here is a plug for all the fellas to come to VFC’s Man Night, Tuesday April 6th at the VFC House.
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So some friends of mine threw a party the other day for just the bros. It was a ridiculously hilarious celebration of masculinity. And inbetween cracking coconuts on the concrete because we wanted to fight for our food(not because anyone particularly liked coconuts), chopping heads of lettuce with a sword (we have pictures) and grilling anything and everything we could find, I had an epiphany. A Manpiphany, so to speak.
Two actually. They both involve food…go figure.
First. While waiting on my unshucked corn and a loaf of bread to finish grilling, I began to see that my timing was quite poor. In my giddy carnivorous state, I had taken my hunk of steak off the grill WAY before any other item of my meal would be ready. So I sat there for a few minutes while my $3.17 steak got cold. So sad. But then, it occurred to me! … No where in the Book of Man does it say that one must have each item of your meal complete simultaneously–then you are free to eat. No, indeed, I discovered! I can eat my steak now, my corn later, my bread in a minute, and my salad last if I don’t come to my senses and ditch it altogether! So I did. It was a great moment.
Second Epiphany. Eating my steak. Frustrated at how my fork and knife stood between me and my meat, it came to me. No longer must I subject myself to the social tyranny of table etiquette. Put down those bent Goodwill utensils. Take up your fist and manhandle that steak. You see your friends over there in the yard having fun? You wish you could be there?! GO! Take your steak in your left hand, your drink in your right and join them!
So I did. And just in time. It was a wonderful thing to realize. Something I don’t think our fair sisters will ever fully appreciate.
So be freed brothers. Remember: Eat each thing one at a time if you want to. Enjoy it while it’s hot. Eat with your hands. And all food is portable (even mashed potatoes).
–joshcan
Filed under: Man Cookin'
INGREDIENTS:
* Can of biscuits (more cans = more doughnuts)
PREPARATION:
Heat oil in a fryer (or in something else that is deep). Open the can of biscuits. Take a 20 oz. soda bottle lid and cut holes in the biscuits. Place the doughnuts and holes into the hot oil. Flip them when one side is golden brown. When the other side is golden brown, remove them from the oil (real men will use their fingers here). Let them cool. Cover them with powdered sugar, chocolate frosting, peanut butter, other cake frostings or whatever you want; heck, eat ‘em plain! I don’t care.
(NOTE: If you cover the doughnut holes in powdered sugar, you have just made Chinese Doughnuts. Sorry to ruin the secret.)
Filed under: Man Cookin'
This is a country favorite. I have eaten it and recommend this manly version of the “girls only territory” of salads. It’s called “Cracklin’ Salad” because the lettuce cracks when the hot grease is poured over it.
INGREDIENTS:
* 1 head of lettuce
* As much bacon as you want
PREPARATION:
Chop up lettuce and put in bowl. Fry bacon. Chop bacon into bacon bits. Pour bacon bits and all hot bacon grease over the lettuce.
Filed under: Man Cookin'
INGREDIENTS:
- 1 can of chili
- 1 package of hot dogs
- 1 package of hot dog buns
- 1 package of shredded cheddar cheese (not the fancy shredded, men don’t cook with the word fancy)
PREPARATION:
Heat the chili in a pot. Cook the hot dogs. Once cooked, place the hot dogs in the buns. Cover the hot dogs with chili and cheese.
