What a Pathetic Loser! by Kevin Shipp
May 22, 2007, 8:02 am
Filed under: Humor

Over the next few weeks, I will be doing every man in the world a favor. What’s that you may ask? Well, I’ll tell you. I will be sharing 5 of my most embarrassing or stupid moments for your entertainment and encouragement. Why do I consider this a favor? It has come to my attention that many guys suffer form what is commonly known as “I have tricked myself into thinking that I am much cooler than I really am” Syndrome (or IHTMITTIAMCTIRA Syndrome for short). So, men, in order to deflate our massive heads and bring us square into the face of reality, I will lead the way by confessing what a pathetic loser I really am.

Part 1 “The boy who just had to go”

When I was like 4 or 5, my brother played baseball at this park way out in the boonies. We spent at least one week night and every Saturday in the spring at the ball park watching games. One day, during a game, I had to go number 1 really really bad. My mom kept telling me, “Hold it just a little while longer, and we’ll go when the inning changes.” Not soon enough for me. I got up, walked down the bleachers, strolled up to the fence just past 1st base, dropped my jeans all the way to the ground and let it happen! Now, this wouldn’t have been that big of a deal, because little kids show off their bottoms all the time. But one of my mom’s friends had to open her big mouth and yell, for all to hear, “OOOH, look at that white fanny shinin’!” in a thick southern drawl. Yep, still scarred from that one.



3 Comments so far
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oh dear… don’t tell me my 3 year-old nephew is a pathetic loser!! I glanced outside the other day and there on the wooden privacy fence was all sorts of unique liquid designs. That is but one of many such happenings.

Comment by BrittLeigh

Now I also will be forever scarred.

Comment by bigplew

Does telling stories about things we do when we are five years old really produce humility? The next one better be more current.

Comment by ctrump

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