Manspeak


Man Records by Travis Evans
June 28, 2007, 1:26 pm
Filed under: Humor

Tallest Man – 8 ft 11 in
Smallest Man – 25.5 in
Loudest Burp – 104.9 dB [Normal Conversation 60dB, Niagra Falls 90dB]
Longest Leg Hair – 4.88 in
Bench Press, Most Weights In One Hour – 305,300 lbs
Bench Press – 1015 lbs
Most Basketballs Spun Simultaneously – 28
Most Concrete Blocks Broken in a Minute – 120
Longest Drive [in a PGA tournament] – 515 yds
Longest Drive – 720 yds

Where do you measure up? I’m gonna start working on that tallest man record… Oh yeah, submit any records that you know of. No Cap, most turtlenecks owned by a man is NOT a record.



What a Pathetic Loser! Part 4 by Kevin Shipp
June 26, 2007, 2:36 pm
Filed under: Humor

I, Kevin Shipp, being 24 years old and a male, have a Teddy Bear on my bed. Not only that, but I also have a monkey puppet. See the pictures below.

What’s the verdict men? Is it OK for men to have Teddy Bears or other stuffed animals on their bed or in their possession? What if they hold significant sentimental value? Does that make a difference? Is it OK to sleep with a stuffed animal?

Kevin

PS – I received the Teddy Bear (His name is Cheerios) as a gift when I was in the hospital for stomach problems when I was 2. The monkey (Kumar) was a family favorite all growing up. Its super old, like 25 years old. If that makes a difference… Also, I never, ever sleep with them. When I go to bed, they go on the floor. Always.

Cheerios

Kumar



YOUR WEDDING DAY. by walterp
June 20, 2007, 10:50 am
Filed under: Leadership

By Walt Alexander

Why is marriage such a rude awakening?

Here is the scenario: When all men get married, there is an awakening. They realize that though marriage is filled with wonderful and awesome joys, it is hard. It is challenging. Basically, they realize they are going to have to die to themselves like they never have before.

Here is the vow I promised to my wife on our wedding day:

I, Walt, take you, Kim, to be my wedded wife. With deepest joy I make this vow to you this day. I promise to love you as Christ loves the Church and gave himself up for her. Using God’s word as my guide, I promise to serve you as the spiritual leader of our home. I will lead you by grace, and I will protect, respect and provide for you and our children. I promise you my deepest love, my fullest devotion, my tenderest care. I will live first unto our God and then unto you. Kim, I take you to have and to hold from this day forward, to cherish you, to honor and keep you, in joy and in sorrow, until God by death separates us, to you I make my vow.

A husband’s responsibilities are: to love his wife as Christ loved the church, to serve her as the spiritual leader, to lead by grace, to protect, respect, and provide for her.

My question to you is:

How can you prepare for your wedding day?
How do you need to grow spiritually?
How can you grow in leadership? In initiating? In killing passivity?
How can you grow in the self-denial required?
How can you grow from complaining to motivating others by grace?
How can you grow at encouraging them?

How can you be more disciplined?
How can you grow out of selfishness into sacrifice?
How can you avoid laziness now to prepare financially for marriage?

See, when I was single man (and still now!), I tended to do only what was required to get by. This means I would often pursue God in word and prayer only as much as was required to appear godly to those around me. Also, I tended to uproot selfishness only as far as I was required. This often meant many things were left “justified” and untouched…until I got married. In fact, in our sin, this is what we naturally do: we do only what is required.

How can we go much further, fighting sin and exalting in the Savior as single men?

What are your thoughts?



What a Pathetic Loser! Part 3 by Kevin Shipp
June 18, 2007, 7:44 pm
Filed under: Humor

When I was 17(!) years old, I was still a pathetic loser. I had a summer job maintaining the grounds at a farm. My two best friends managed to make it through the entire summer without working. (What lazy bums!) So, everyday, all day long that summer, while I was working, they were out bonding and creating all kinds of lasting memories.

Well, usually, at the end of the day, if I wasn’t totally exhausted, I’d call them to see what they were up to or I would just drive to one of their houses to hang out. On several occasions I would 1) get a hold of them, only to hear that they had “already made plans” and that “maybe we’ll all three hang out tomorrow.” or 2) I’d get to one of their parents’ houses and would be informed that they were gone and they didn’t know where they were. or 3) I’d run into them, only to realize that they would prefer to hangout alone or with others (excluding me), and that I should just go home.

Needless to say, this was tough for me to swallow. (This was much more tramatic for me than it may sound, because at this stage in life I had a massive view of myself. Even bigger than it has ever been since…I think.) So, how did I react to this? I did what any sensible pathetic loser would do: I sped down backroads, with my car windows rolled down, and sang along to Radiohead songs at the top of my lungs while tears streamed down my cheeks. Some of my favorites songs to “just let it all out” to were: Fake Plastic Trees, Just, Paranoid Android, Electioneering, My Iron Lung, Street Spirit (Fade Out), Let Down, Karma Police, and Lucky.

Moral of the story: 1) I am not as cool and important as I thought. 2) Radiohead songs (incredible as they may be) don’t delight the soul in God like His Word does. 3) Crying with your mouth wide open while driving with your window down ALWAYS ends up in vomit-inducing bug swallowing.

Kevin



Vision Problems? by Jonathan Oldacre
June 17, 2007, 8:57 pm
Filed under: Devotions

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by Jonathan Oldacre

My wife, Melanie, and I were recently having a conversation about how bright the sun is. We were talking about how it’s so bright that it actually has the potential to damage your vision if you stare directly at it for too long. Now I don’t know about you, but I grew up thinking that this bit of knowledge was a universally known fact, but during our conversation it became more and more apparent that Melanie never knew this! She loves being outside, watching sunsets, being in the sun, so naturally I grew more concerned as we talked, and with good reason. Mel told me that she actually has little black spots in her vision from staring at the sun! We’ve known for a long time that her vision was bad…now the pieces are starting to fit together! (By the way, I mean no dishonor to my wonderful wife in relating this story, and I asked if she found this offensive…she was cool with it.)

There’s something about things that are dangerous and powerful and beautiful that captivates our attention. Joy is found outside of ourselves, and joy is specifically found in God in Christ. Consider these Scriptures about Jesus Christ:

2 Cor. 4:6– God has “shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.”

1 Tim. 6:16– God alone dwells in unapproachable light

Rev 1:16– The risen Savior’s face shines like the sun in full strength, though incomparably brighter, shining with holiness and power far beyond our earthly experience!

There’s nothing like looking at the glory of Christ; everything else pales in comparison. Christ is the light of the world, the one who was and is, and is to come, and one day we’ll see Him as He is and we’ll be changed into His likeness. For the Christian, one day we’ll be able to look directly into His face and not go blind, we won’t be consumed, instead the infinite joy of our Master will fill our hearts and we’ll worship Him; that will be the only right response! Even now “we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit” (2 Corinthians 3:18). What you and I need to see is the glory of Christ, that’s what fills us with joy, that’s what transforms our hearts, that’s what causes us to overflow in love and good works and worship, and the good news is that God answers our prayers to see His Son’s glory! Ask God today for a fresh revelation of the glory of Christ in Scripture, and have a great week beholding the Light of the World!



2 Ways To Live by tmaples
June 16, 2007, 1:03 pm
Filed under: Evangelism, Featured Resource

by Travis Maples

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The choice we all face…

To learn more about Matthias Media click here.



Invitation Adventures…. by bigplew
June 16, 2007, 8:22 am
Filed under: Evangelism

by Mike Plewniak

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Saturday is usually T-bone’s day to encourage us in evangelism, but since I missed my post yesterday I thought I’d throw this little adventure out to everyone. This is an e-mail from Hannah Poschel who went out with our “2:9 Initiative” from CCK. They’ve been going out on Thursday nights looking for opportunities to share the gospel with people. Travis leads the team, and as you’ll see from this e-mail, he’s doing a great job. Well done, Travis! You not only lead with grace and boldness, but you lead by example — that’s a godly man.

Here’s the e-mail:

hey mike
alrighty- i was told write you and tell you about my experience last night out at market square. first of all- travis maples is doing an excellent job leading this team! i was so affected by his humility, zeal, and love. He did a great job reminding us of the Gospel and helping us see why it is that we were going out to share it with people. at the same time he made it super fun to be there and helped us not take ourselves too seriously.

and as for stories: well the first 2 people that Brendan and I talked to were in highschool and had only been to church a couple of times. They seemed open to talking to us though- and almost seemed grateful that we were sharing the Gospel with them. It was hard to tell how they would respond but it was evident that the Holy Spirit was being kind to us and to them- because God gave Brendan and I peace as we were talking to them and helped us clearly talk with them about their sin and their need of a Savior. and they really seemed to listen attentively.

ok and then brendan and i went to talk to more people. This is travis’ favorite story. Brendan and I saw a guy sitting by himself on park bench so I started talking to him. I asked him what he did (work, school, etc) and he told me he liked to walk around looking at buildings and stuff. He had something lodged next to his bottom lip and it remained there the entire conversation. We started asking him about spiritual things the same way we had with the other people but his responses were quite odd and hard to follow. Despite me asking him various questions, talking about the holiness of God, our sinfulness, and Jesus Christ’s death on the cross, this guy kept responding with very random comments including something about a wet beaver, sunshine, moonlight, nature, etc etc etc……….. this went on for a while. (ask brendan about what the guy actually said- because he did an excellent impersonation) well you know i laugh a lot- and at pretty much anything. and sometimes i get tickled and really can’t do anything about it. something about this guy’s slow, southern drawl (sp?) and his straight face as he looked directly in my eyes- with the chew or whatever still in his lip- and all his random comments- all of a sudden- to my horror- i burst into gails of laughter. oh man i was so embarassed but couldn’t stop for a minute or 2. i tried to apologize and bit my lip to keep myself from laughing more. it was terrible. anyways- I laughed a lot about it later as brendan reinacted the scene.

it was certainly humbling- but overall- the night was soooooooooo good. my faith was certainly strengthened- as I thought about people in my classes that I want to talk to and build relationships with. God reminded me how easy it can be to talk with people and tell them the most astounding and crucial information they’ll ever here. and it really was a blast. I left sooo grateful for our church and for the work God has done in our hearts. on the way home julie beaton and i were basking in God’s grace for providing men like travis, dave stanley, and dave puncochar. they fear the Lord and just being around them helps me to do the same. but they also kept me rolling and made the night super fun.