Manspeak


What a Pathetic Loser! Part 3 by Kevin Shipp
June 18, 2007, 7:44 pm
Filed under: Humor

When I was 17(!) years old, I was still a pathetic loser. I had a summer job maintaining the grounds at a farm. My two best friends managed to make it through the entire summer without working. (What lazy bums!) So, everyday, all day long that summer, while I was working, they were out bonding and creating all kinds of lasting memories.

Well, usually, at the end of the day, if I wasn’t totally exhausted, I’d call them to see what they were up to or I would just drive to one of their houses to hang out. On several occasions I would 1) get a hold of them, only to hear that they had “already made plans” and that “maybe we’ll all three hang out tomorrow.” or 2) I’d get to one of their parents’ houses and would be informed that they were gone and they didn’t know where they were. or 3) I’d run into them, only to realize that they would prefer to hangout alone or with others (excluding me), and that I should just go home.

Needless to say, this was tough for me to swallow. (This was much more tramatic for me than it may sound, because at this stage in life I had a massive view of myself. Even bigger than it has ever been since…I think.) So, how did I react to this? I did what any sensible pathetic loser would do: I sped down backroads, with my car windows rolled down, and sang along to Radiohead songs at the top of my lungs while tears streamed down my cheeks. Some of my favorites songs to “just let it all out” to were: Fake Plastic Trees, Just, Paranoid Android, Electioneering, My Iron Lung, Street Spirit (Fade Out), Let Down, Karma Police, and Lucky.

Moral of the story: 1) I am not as cool and important as I thought. 2) Radiohead songs (incredible as they may be) don’t delight the soul in God like His Word does. 3) Crying with your mouth wide open while driving with your window down ALWAYS ends up in vomit-inducing bug swallowing.

Kevin

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2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Kevin, you’re fat!

Comment by walterp

I never did that did I?

Comment by Colin




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