YOUR WEDDING DAY. by walterp
June 20, 2007, 10:50 am
Filed under: Leadership

By Walt Alexander

Why is marriage such a rude awakening?

Here is the scenario: When all men get married, there is an awakening. They realize that though marriage is filled with wonderful and awesome joys, it is hard. It is challenging. Basically, they realize they are going to have to die to themselves like they never have before.

Here is the vow I promised to my wife on our wedding day:

I, Walt, take you, Kim, to be my wedded wife. With deepest joy I make this vow to you this day. I promise to love you as Christ loves the Church and gave himself up for her. Using God’s word as my guide, I promise to serve you as the spiritual leader of our home. I will lead you by grace, and I will protect, respect and provide for you and our children. I promise you my deepest love, my fullest devotion, my tenderest care. I will live first unto our God and then unto you. Kim, I take you to have and to hold from this day forward, to cherish you, to honor and keep you, in joy and in sorrow, until God by death separates us, to you I make my vow.

A husband’s responsibilities are: to love his wife as Christ loved the church, to serve her as the spiritual leader, to lead by grace, to protect, respect, and provide for her.

My question to you is:

How can you prepare for your wedding day?
How do you need to grow spiritually?
How can you grow in leadership? In initiating? In killing passivity?
How can you grow in the self-denial required?
How can you grow from complaining to motivating others by grace?
How can you grow at encouraging them?

How can you be more disciplined?
How can you grow out of selfishness into sacrifice?
How can you avoid laziness now to prepare financially for marriage?

See, when I was single man (and still now!), I tended to do only what was required to get by. This means I would often pursue God in word and prayer only as much as was required to appear godly to those around me. Also, I tended to uproot selfishness only as far as I was required. This often meant many things were left “justified” and untouched…until I got married. In fact, in our sin, this is what we naturally do: we do only what is required.

How can we go much further, fighting sin and exalting in the Savior as single men?

What are your thoughts?


2 Comments so far
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Well, the first thing on my list would be to ask Kevin Shipp what he’s doing and then try to do the opposite.

Actually, I think that having straight-up, honest relationships with guys who are not scared of you and willing to challenge you about things is seriously important. Guys like roommates, older singles and married men, Care group leaders and such. Also, I can sometimes find myself discouraged about growth or preparedness because I feel like a big ball of unsanctifiable turd. But the Lord’s been faithful to encourage me by showing me that in Christ, the Holy Spirit’s work is real for me and active in me. He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all, How will he not also with him graciously give us all things?

Comment by joshcan

Marriage is definitely a HUGE responsibility. But the best part, like all of life, it is a gift of God’s grace, giving us what we don’t deserve. I have found that the gift that Katie is to me, is far more than I could have desired for myself or could have ever merited. (Prvbs 18:22) She is a gift to me, specifically, from God. So guys, if you are discouraged when considering the awesome call of marriage, when looking in the mirror on the wall or in God’s Word, take hope in this: Marriage is not about what you deserve, but about God’s glory on display as transformed sinners relate in this unique bond. (Eph 5:25-31) (ps. this is not to say that you shouldn’t prepare, sitting on your laurels thinking “I’ll let go and Let God”. refer to Phillippians for more clarification on that)

Comment by Caleb H.

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