January 30, 2008, 8:00 am
Filed under: Leadership, Roles and Relationships


So if you have been around Volunteers For Christ and Cornerstone Church for a while, you will have (hopefully) noticed that guy/girl relationships are a bit different. We don’t date. We have kiss goodbye to dating and said hello to courtship!

So what is courtship? Is it really necessary? Is it realistic? Is it possible? Over the next couple of months, I plan to explore some of these questions and hopefully provide some helpful answers. No guarantee on the latter.

So, what is courtship?

Courtship is intentional dating with a commitment to pleasing God and finding out whether two people are called to be married.

Let’s walk through this definition together.

Courtship is intentional dating. This means we don’t date just anyone. We don’t date carelessly or haphazardly. We date carefully and intentionally.

Among others, there are two reasons I believe we should date intentionally. One is because God has called us in holiness. God clearly tells us that His will for us is our sanctification, our purity – that we would not be sexually immoral but would rather carry ourselves in holiness and in honor (1 The 4:3-4). “For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness” (7).

This calling should drastically affect every area of our lives – including the way we date. We must date carefully so that we walk in holiness and in purity. We must date intentionally so that we are not led astray by a deceitful suitor. Throughout Proverbs, we are warned against adulteresses whose lips drip honey and whose speech is smooth (Pro 5:3-4). Obviously, things are not as they appear. The foolish man is led into her chambers because he was not careful and did not consider her character. And his soul was destroyed.

On a lighter note, another reason to date intentionally is because God has called us to marry only one man or woman. God has called us to marry one person. We don’t have to know whether every one we see is “the one.” We are freed to wait on God to make things clear and to rest in His promises to provide us a helpmate. We don’t have to date everyone.

So, courtship is intentional dating. Come back next week as we walk through the rest of the definition.

P.S. Let’s continue the dialogue in the comments section!


5 Comments so far
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Walt it seems you are to constrained by Christan culture rather than a biblical perspective. Maybe you need to rethink your position on this? Where would the Apostle Paul fit in these categories you have imposed on scripture?

Comment by J Harris

How so J Harris?

It seems perfectly clear to me in Proverbs (in comparing foolishness and wisdom, in the way of the adulteress) and in the 1 Thessalonians passage of Paul.

As I make clear in the post, it is NOT courtship I defend but purity and godliness. So, tell me, where I am deviating from proper implications of biblical teaching? What are these “imposed” categories?

Comment by Walt and Kim

I don’t even know where to begin on the “Walt and Kim” sign in name. In the words of Charlie Brown, “Good grief!”

Comment by Squatty

[…] in each of these six weeks (one, two, three, four, five, six)… Is there anything I missed? Is there anything you wished I had […]

Pingback by ONE MORE THING. « Manspeak

Just realize there are pitfalls to courtship just like there are pitfalls to dating. The books I have read promoting courtship and kissing dating goodbye don’t share problems that exist and have occurred with their approach.

Comment by steve240

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