Manspeak


Cowboys. by joshcan
October 14, 2008, 1:22 am
Filed under: Humor

I have this philosophy in life. Cowboys are the manliest men. Plain and simple. And every man aspires to be one.

I mean, think about it! They sit forever on a wild beast that they capture and “break.” They can take a punch to the face and laugh about it and have names like Hoss and Wild Bill. Their inherent sense of justice is like a radar. They have skills, too. Mad skills. Like tying knots. Tying knots around horses, knots around trees. Knots to keep the horses on the trees. They carry guns without licenses, sleep in the dirt, in the desert, in the snow, eat grass and beans for dinner, don’t eat dinner. They can drive wagons if they want to. They can jump from a bareback wild stallion to the ladder of a speeding locomotive to apprehend a mysterious masked bandit before he steals the safe, then pull the brake, dodge the Indians’ arrows and play a song on the harmonica all before the train derails and careens into the river where the bridge is out. (In a convenient 30 minutes!)

They defend women and children. They tackle cows and tie their feet together. They don’t wear deodorant, are always clean shaven and can’t die. They don’t swear, but they do sweat. Real cowboys can smell an outlaw, give him till high noon and beat him up before his gravy’s cold.

Maybe it’s the fact that I grew up in the ultimate suburbia and only ever watched Roy Rogers in black and white that makes me want to play the banjo under a moonlit sky, shake snakes outa mah boots and save Timmy from the collapsed mine shaft. But I think there’s something in every man that wants to ride something instead of drive it. Change the saddle, not the oil. Make yer own flapjacks for breakfast, and not nuke your Strawberry Iced Pop Tarts with sprinkles.

But anyway, all I ask is that you consider this: cowboys are the manliest men.

Part soldier, part lumberjack, part outlaw. Part marksman, lawman, hunter and detective. Just and kind. And always riding toward the sunset.

Plus I’m pretty sure everyone’s grandpa is a cowboy.

joshcan

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3 Comments so far
Leave a comment

What if I milked a cow in middle school? And I can tie my shoes in a perfect loop knot! does that make me a COWBOY TOO!!!(?)

Comment by jeff moore

agreed. which is why both my boys are named after cowboys. my dog too, but that doesn’t count. and you are right, their grandpa in the midwest is a cowboy.

Comment by chrisgraves

Ok, I know this is a man-site, but I stumbled upon it while researching something recently, and have been reading it (along with other girly blogs) regularly from way out here in California (is that allowed??:) ). Aside from the excellent theology and application you guys tout, it totally cracks me UP! There aren’t many cowboys out here, but perhaps they need to be liberated?

Cheers to that!

Comment by Claire




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