Manspeak


Celebrating Beard-dom by joshcan
November 11, 2008, 6:49 pm
Filed under: Humor

November is the time of the year it starts to get noticeably colder. People are wearing coats, scarves, hats more. Men, in particular, start busting out their manly clothes. By that, of course, I mean flannel. It’s also that time of the year it becomes logical to grow out one’s beard—all that cold wind and such. So, logically, someone long ago established “No-Shave November,” a time where men in all the various stages of Beard-hood can let their bristles go unchecked, without fear of ridicule, for the entire month. It’s great! People tell you, “Ew, shave.” And you’re like, “Sorry! Can’t! It’s No-Shave November.” And you move on. Or you get involved in some weird conversation about mustaches.

As a youngin, I relished the thought of several things. Getting so tall I could see my whole face in the bathroom mirror above the sink. Riding my bike to the Piggly Wiggly. Getting past my fear of the toilet, etc, etc. Then came the age that I really craved getting to shave. I wanted facial hair so bad. But alas, I was one of those 8th graders people often mistook for being in 6th grade. Baby Face Freak they called me. Every young fella wishes they could grow a beard. And for some reason, males equate facial hair with an innate quality of manliness.

Sadly, this leads some males to make poor facial hair decisions. We could talk for a while about pride and its influence on how, young guys in particular, trick themselves into thinking they belong in the “Old Testament Prophets Beard Club,” when it’s obvious they belong in the “Stash that Stache in the Trash, Bub, Club.” Instead, they sport that fuzzy upper lip like a badge of honor. Poor, poor souls.

It’s apparent, not every man is endowed with the gift of Beard-dom. But thankfully, some are. And their intentionality in it makes up for the mistakenness of those in the “Stash the ‘Stache” club. Accordingly, let’s meet some of the winners in last year’s World Beard and Moustache Championships held in the UK.

Here are some of my favorites.

Jack Passion, Winner—Natural Full Beard
Seigfreid Jezierny, 2nd Place—Natural Full Beard with Styled Moustache
David Traver, 3rd Place—Natural Full Beard with Styled Moustache
Elmar Weisser, Winner—Full Beard Freestlye (Shaped like the London Bridge!)

AMAZING!

Further celebrate the glories of Beard-dom here!
by joshcan

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2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Josh, you’ve inspired me, and given me something to aim for.

Comment by Nathan Simmons

Josh – you are one funny bearded dude i find i’m in the ‘scraggleywannabebeardedoldmangroup’. of course, i’m the winner in that group. ; >

Comment by dad




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