Sex isn’t the problem, chapter 2 by bigplew
November 15, 2008, 12:47 pm
Filed under: Featured Resource, Roles and Relationships

by Mike Plewniak

sex-is-not-problemLust:  Is it biology or is it sin?  To understand what’s going on inside of us, Josh says we need to begin with God and how He has created us.  “We need to reclaim sexual desire as God’s amazing and good gift to us.”  Where in the world did these desires come from?  I love this paragraph where Josh writes, “One moment you’re a kid and the opposite sex is yucky — boys are gross and girls have cooties.  The next day the world turns upside down.  Hormones begin to pump, your body transforms, hair starts to show up in weird places, and this pulsing, driving, burning sexual awareness and desire begins flowing through your veins like molten lava.”

It’s good to know that God gives those desires to drive us toward something — this wonderful gift of marriage and sex.  It’s good to understand that having a sex drive is not lust.  But, lust does hijack our sex drive and want sex outside of the context God has created it for — marriage.  This list is very helpful so that we do not feel guilty for having these desires:

– It’s not lust to be attracted to someone

– It’s not lust to have a strong desire to have sex.

– It’s not lust to anticipate and be excited about having sex within marriage.

– It’s not lust to experience sexual temptation

The issue is how we respond to these desires — by faith in a good God or hijacking these desires to serve ourselves and to give into unbelief in God. Invite God into your desires, what you wish for, and invite His Spirit to come help you with self-control, patience, and perseverance.  As John Piper defines lust, it is “sexual desire minus honor and holiness.”  Let’s be thankful for sexual desire and not be controlled by it, but submit it to the good plan of God.  “When we understand that the very nature of lust is rebellion against God, we realize the gravity and the seriousness nature of the sin — and hopefully we’re more motivated than ever to pursue a life of purity.”

So how do we live with these desires and sex drives while remaining pure, holy, and godly.  Josh writes, “As Christians, embracing our sexuality looks radically different.  We don’t obey every sexual impulse — nor do we deny that we have sexual desires.  Instead, we choose both restraint and gratefulness.  For us, sexual desire joins every other part of our lives — our appetite for food, our use of money, our friendships, our dreams, our careers, our possessions, our abilities, our families — in bowing before the one true God.”

If you haven’t bought the book yet, it’s worth it!


2 Comments so far
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Thanks so much for doing this. I wanted to ask a question about lust. Some people, by the grace of God, do not experience much physical lust but if I’m informed correct there is more than one type of lust.
I’m interested in information about emotional lust. Could you or Caleb give any information on this type of lust if it even exists?

Comment by Jeremy O

That’s true. Lust, by definition, just means “strong desire”. In the OT, it’s used often in this sense of having a strong desire for God, for idols, for others. But, in the NT, we see begin to be used more for sexual temptation — 1 Peter 4:3, Titus 2:12 (worldly passions), Col 3:5 (evil desire connected to sexual immorality), 2 Tim 2:22 (youthful passions), Eph 2:3, and 1 John 2:16, All these are translated differently, but all have the same desire – passions, desires, longings, strong feelings that are against God’s plan and are worldly.

I think any desires that go against God and his plan are condemned in scripture as from our flesh (Galatians 5) and from this world (worldly).

So, “emotional lust” should really be described in biblical terms from many of the passages i cited above as worldly passions, evil desires, youthful passions, etc….

Once we realize what it is, we should repent of it and be filled with the Spirit of God so that we won’t gratify the desires of the flesh (Gal. 5:16). Seeing these desires for what they are help us to not justify them and give into them, but crucify them with all of our other sins.

Hope that helps.

Comment by bigplew

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