Manspeak


Manly Men of the Old TestaMENt by joshcan
January 20, 2009, 12:41 pm
Filed under: Humor

— by joshcan

With no intention of taking scripture lightly, you can’t ignore how the old testament touts some awesomely manly tales of masculinity. Just check these out!

Second Samuel 23 (Appropriately named “valiant men”):

Josheb-basshebeth–He wielded his spear against 800 whom he killed at one time.

Shammah–He stood in a plot of beans and defended it against the Philistines when all the other men fled.

Abishai–He wielded his spear against 300 men.

Benaiah–A doer of great deeds. He struck down two ariels of Moab. Wait a second. I’m not completely convinced of this guy. He struck down two ariels (?). (I guess that’s tough?) He did dominate a lion in a pit on a day when snow had fallen, which is pretty bad. He must be tough. But then it says he struck down an Egyptian, a “handsome” man. The Egyptian had a spear in his hand, but Benaiah went down to him with a staff and snatched the spear out of the Egyptian’s hand and killed him with his own spear (I can respect that).

Then there’s Ezekiel–He lied on his side for 410 days in front of a model of Jerusalem to “bear their punishment”! Dang. I don’t care who you are, that’s intense! I can’t even go a whole night without turning over, let alone, 14 months!

Shamgar–In Judges 3, this manly dude took an ox goad and killed 300 Philistines with it.

Basically, the OT’s got some stout fellas. Empowered by the Spirit of God, they were faithful and dominated.

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Have any of you dominated anything comparable before?

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3 Comments so far
Leave a comment

And what better way to imitate these men then to seriously study and read the Old testament. We can often neglect it (I did for the longest time) and think its of little or no use for practical living. Yet, if we want to be men, lets get serious about the Old and New testaments and ask the Spirit of God to open the scriptures and change us.

Comment by Zack Migioia

and pick up some ox goads.

Comment by thorn

I looked up the ariel thing on BibleGateway to see what other versions said. The ESV calls them ariels, but as a footnote it says that the meaning of the word ariel is unknown(Lame!). The NASB says they were two sons of Ariel of Moab(better…). The NCV says they were two of the best warriors from Moab(Okay that’s cool). The NLT says they were two champions of Moab(Even cooler). The KJV says that Benaiah slew two lionlike men of Moab(Okay, that’s off the chizang!) So there you have it. However, I would like to add a thought that I had. If an ariel is anywhere close to what Josh’s lovely guess is, then combining that with the lionlike men interpretation, maybe they were just a couple sea lion’s that Benaiah caught and ate for brunch… Which is still pretty awesome in my opinion. Thanks Josh!

Comment by Shawn Irwin




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