Manspeak


Dude, this is awful…Check it out! by Caleb H.
May 20, 2009, 7:34 am
Filed under: Culture, Humor

Oh Yes!

I thought about sparing you all this video, but I couldn’t help myself! (What is it about guys that makes us want to share disgusting stuff with each other? Do we like watching the other person suffer through what we just did so that we can feel better about having experienced it ourselves? You know what I mean: “Oh Man! This stinks…SMell It!” Or…”This milk is spoiled…Taste it!”) Guys…We’re wierd!

Anyways, along that same vein, I hope you “enjoy” this video, and I would love to hear your cooments about this band’s musical and lyrical abilities (as well as sharing your kid-pop-star memories)



No Mo Cap’n Crunch–I’ll Be Reborn by joshcan
April 7, 2009, 2:04 pm
Filed under: Humor

Check out this theological statement on the absence of breakfast in heaven.

joshcan



Don’t Waste Your Snow: A 7.5 Foot Snow Bear Warrior by joshcan
February 3, 2009, 1:38 pm
Filed under: Humor

Compelled by the call of God to subdue the earth, a group of East Tennessee, snow-deprived young men endeavored to create Knoxville’s largest snowman, and perhaps the world’s only 7.5 foot Snow-Bear Warrior. We named him Eric. But I’d like to rename him Bearic, the Frosty Killer.

snow-bear-0051

Here’s the process of our feat of masculinity.

snow-bear-001

His bottom section has to weigh a couple hundred pounds, and we had to create a ramp to roll the middle section up there.

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His right arm goes all the way to the ground, and his left arm (because we got lazy and cold) ended up being two 5-foot sticks, holding a cookie sheet shield.

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That’s me trying to be as cool looking as Bearic, for scale, of course.

joshcan



A “Pet Peeve” by joshcan
January 27, 2009, 12:12 pm
Filed under: Humor

So I’ve got this “pet peeve,” so to speak. And hopefully you can relate. When dog owners give their pets people names. When I’m in the mall or some place comparable, and I see an older lady or some high school aged female, and they’ve got a dog that’s too small to sustain itself in the wild and they call it “Jessica” I just can’t help but feel like something is terribly wrong. Animals should be named things like Tiger, or Spock, or Lucky, or Pit-of-Vipers, etc. NOT names like Jonathan, Phillip or Elizabeth.

Some, however are okay. Ralph, Jack, Bob. I can handle those. But please don’t name your dachsund Jeremy or your Shitzu Amanda.

It’s just wrong.

Any other examples?

–by joshcan



Manly Men of the Old TestaMENt by joshcan
January 20, 2009, 12:41 pm
Filed under: Humor

— by joshcan

With no intention of taking scripture lightly, you can’t ignore how the old testament touts some awesomely manly tales of masculinity. Just check these out!

Second Samuel 23 (Appropriately named “valiant men”):

Josheb-basshebeth–He wielded his spear against 800 whom he killed at one time.

Shammah–He stood in a plot of beans and defended it against the Philistines when all the other men fled.

Abishai–He wielded his spear against 300 men.

Benaiah–A doer of great deeds. He struck down two ariels of Moab. Wait a second. I’m not completely convinced of this guy. He struck down two ariels (?). (I guess that’s tough?) He did dominate a lion in a pit on a day when snow had fallen, which is pretty bad. He must be tough. But then it says he struck down an Egyptian, a “handsome” man. The Egyptian had a spear in his hand, but Benaiah went down to him with a staff and snatched the spear out of the Egyptian’s hand and killed him with his own spear (I can respect that).

Then there’s Ezekiel–He lied on his side for 410 days in front of a model of Jerusalem to “bear their punishment”! Dang. I don’t care who you are, that’s intense! I can’t even go a whole night without turning over, let alone, 14 months!

Shamgar–In Judges 3, this manly dude took an ox goad and killed 300 Philistines with it.

Basically, the OT’s got some stout fellas. Empowered by the Spirit of God, they were faithful and dominated.

————————————————————————————-

Have any of you dominated anything comparable before?



Canadian Border Patrol by joshcan
January 6, 2009, 3:56 pm
Filed under: Humor

This classic video inspires me. Please, let’s type our best Robert Michael Jack impersonations in the comment section.



Is Santa Really A Man? by joshcan
December 23, 2008, 1:29 pm
Filed under: Humor, Uncategorized

It’s something that’s been on my mind a little as I’ve prepared for his annual visitation down the chimney at my parents’ house. Think about it:

  • For one, what man would be caught dead in red velvet?
  • If I had 9 reindeer, 8 would be in the freezer cut into steaks and a good bit of Blitzen would be makin a trip to the taxidermist.
  • Sleighs are pretty outdated. I’d recommend a flying one of these.
  • I imagine kids would stop writing letters to him when they got their third socket wrench set or 5th Ronco product in a row.
  • I’ve yet to find a man that giggles when described as having a “bowl full of jelly”
  • Think about all the other mythical holiday Men: Father Time shows up once a year looking scraggly, ominous and ready to open up a can. Definite guy. And heck. Even Cupid packs heat.

A couple things Santa does have going for him though is that he’s got a really stout beard, apparently has a profound sense of direction and can pack a vehicle efficiently–something I don’t think a female Santa could ever do.

Just a thought. Anybody got any evidence in Santa’s character that could readjust my view?

And Have A Merry Christmas!

by joshcan