Women aren’t Men

Women aren’t Men by Kevin Shipp

January 23, 2007, 4:35 pm
Filed under: Humor

I am in no way an expert on women, nor am I even close to being well qualified to speak authoritatively on how men and women should relate to one another, but over the past few days I have learned something that I think is very valuable and I hope will serve the men that stumble across our blog.

I am not a considerate person. I rarely take time to think through things taking other’s time, thoughts, responsibilities, needs, or feelings into consideration before I speak or act. This was made very clear to me a few days ago in the area of women cooking for men.

In our church we have some great, godly young women. I asked a lady friend of mine this past week to cook a meal for me and others (not really requested, I think the exact way I ‘asked’ was “Thanks for cooking dinner for me this coming Sunday” So it more closely resembled me saying: “You’re cooking for me, it better be good.” As if it would be the most enjoyable thing for her to cook for me! I am so arrogant!) She, being humble and loving to serve, agreed.

Here’s where my lack of consideration for others and my lack of understanding of the difference between men and women came out full force. That Sunday I ate a huge, late lunch, so I was super full still when dinner came around. About an hour before I was supposed to come to dinner with the other folks, I called my friend and said “Hey, im not really hungry, and I didn’t know if you were still planning on cooking anyways, so I just called to let you know I won’t be eating.”

Here’s the deal, I assumed she was like a guy. When I cook dinner, this is what it looks like: I open the freezer, remove a small cardboard box, pop it in the microwave, stop half way through to stir (that’s the hard part that I sometimes skip, especially if I’m in a hurry. Also, If I am making food for a friend, the middle-stir is what I mean when I say, “I will cook for you.” That is the extent of my preparations) It takes about 5 minutes, tops. Then, I eat. That’s it. So, when I called to cancel on dinner, that’s what I thought about. Really. I thought, “Well, this will be easier for her, I’m sure. She won’t have to bother, so it works for the both of us.”

Wrong. When a woman (especially a woman who is creative and loves to serve others) is going to make dinner for someone, this is what it involves: She day dreams about recipes for a few hours, she then searches the internet and calls her friends, mom, grandma, aunt, sister’s roommate, the senator’s wife, and Betty Crocker herself for recipe ideas and cooking tips. Then, she goes to the store and drops about fifty or sixty bucks on high quality ingredients. This usually involves calling one of her friends who also gives input for the recipe, which leads to another run to the store and then a stop at the Starbucks for some “girl time”. Then, about 4 hours before the dinner guests arrive, women start cleaning the house, they have decorations that coincide with the food being prepared, they may even search the internet for fun facts about the history of the dish and about the country or ethnic region where the food originated. Then, they cook. Again, a friend will be called to help, possibly requiring one more run to the store, and some giggle/tear time while the oven preheats.

Finally, the guests arrive. The girls take their coats, offer them chips and dip, and find out what is going on in your ENTIRE life. Then, they bring out the food. There is probably even more planning and presentation etiquette that is observed here that I am not even aware of. Like how they hold the bowls, where they put the side dishes in relation to the main dish in order to have the best mixture of aromas etc. I can only speculate how much time goes into that!

Then everyone eats. The girls even take time to encourage or honor one of their dinner guests about how God is working in their life. Then, they break out dessert. (Guys don’t even make dessert. They are usually like, “After you eat that microwaved pizza, if you are still hungry, I have some Frosted Flakes and milk in the fridge. Help yourself.) No, with girls, desset is a repeat of the above mentioned steps, only its more difficult because once you have chosen the food for the actual dinner, you limit which dessert you can make because it is essential to find the perfect compliment to the dinner.

After dinner, the girls are off to the kitchen where they sterilize every dish with 800 degree water. They may even make little boxes or bags of left overs for the guys to take home. (Which will probably be eaten cold for breakfast the next morning becuase guys are too lazy to use the microwave.)

So, when I called to cancel dinner on my friend, she was about 95% of her way through the 40 hours of work that went into preparing the meal. But I didn’t give it a second thought!

Men, we should be very very grateful when women cook. Its a TON of work. If you are married, you should spend about fifteen minutes a day just honoring and thanking your wife when she cooks. Complaining is absolutely unacceptable! You should also recognize the work of God in your wife’s life that she would even cook for you and turn her attention to that! If you are single and your mom, sister, or lady friends cook for you, take time to express your appreciation and turn their attention to God and thank Him for providing great women in your life. We take so much for granted!

Kevin

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